oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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