That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
