Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
