We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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