There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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