dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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