he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
