If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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