I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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