I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
