Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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