meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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