Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it glows. i had to have it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
