I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
