direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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