is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
