Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
