Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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