Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
