And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
