From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
