Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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