Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
