At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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