he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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