WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize