i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
