Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
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