So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
