im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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