Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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