i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
this hospital has no fireball
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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