and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
barbara walters just said penis...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
