I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
