On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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