I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
