I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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