I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
