"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
