I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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