My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
