The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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