Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize