Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
