Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
