Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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