Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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