The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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