I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
