period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
ok first of all what the fuck
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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