That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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