Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
