Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
