And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
