I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
