I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize