You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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