I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
