apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
