Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
