so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
