yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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