so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize