we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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