She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
