If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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