I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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